(Where we left off before)
And the story continues ...
It was unusual that Dad should
be home so much and it was nice of"Old Dutch", the mill hand, to do
the cooking for the family while Mother was sick. The children all liked
"Old Dutch." He was not at all good looking, with his big, wide,
mouth and bulb nose, and rather long grey hair, but he like the children and
always talked with them whenever he was around the house. It was a happy
surprise to them that he could cook and wash dishes and sweep, too. That was
probably why Dad usually kept him at the mill -he could keep
"camp" as well as help with the sawing. Dad usually stayed at the
mill and lived in the shack -"Camp" he called it --during the week
and came home weekends. The mill was set up on the neighbor'S property but the
snow was so deep that daily travel back and forth was not practical. Mother
usually managed alright at home. She could always send one of the boys, or
occasionally Sally Ann, to the mill with messages or if help was really needed.
The
living room had been off limits for the children for two weeks now, ever since
Mother had become too sick to breathe comfortably. She had not slept in her bed
just off the living room, but had caught naps on the couch or by sitting in the
big high-back rocker as it became more and more
painful for her to lie down. She gained a measure of comfort in the big rocker and with the reading
table in front of the chair so she could rest her arms on pillows and sleep. The
table also held the tall kerosene lamp and some medications. The big
"round oak" stove now had its pretty nickel top ornament turned aside
to accommodate the steaming teakettle which helped Mother's breathing. Even the
kitchen stove now accommodated more kettles which, as they became hot enough,
were removed to the living room to provide steam.
The
door opened and "old Dutch" came out and quickly closed it again and
went to the dining room to check on the children's progress with their supper.
Sally knew she would soon have to give up her corner for one of them, but it had
given her a measure of comfort to be able to sit there while they ate, and warm
her feet on the hearth by the ash box door. She had not heard a word or gotten
any satisfaction while listening for sounds from Mother's room.
It was after supper and Sally Ann was putting more wood in the
stove when the doctor came out. He was tall and thin and did not seem in a
hurry to leave. He shook hands with each one of the children and spoke to them
and complimented Sally and "old Dutch" for maintaining orderliness
and a quiet atmosphere in the household during Mother's illness. Sally knew
that the hardest thing to do was to keep a quiet household, because there were
so many children. The quietness of the moment was for the seriousness of the
occasion, not from obedience; but she was glad the doctor had noticed and had
spoken to each one of the seven children. Now, as the doctor made his way toward
the door, Dad came out and followed him to the "entry" and the two
boys crowded around also. The boys, Gene and Gary, could always get in on
grownups business because they were older than the girls although only by one
and two years. Sally wanted to know what the low conversation was about. The
only words she could hear were "cold sweat" and she thought,
"How could that be?" She waited because Gary would tell her -he
always told her grown-up things if he knew any and so she waited.
As soon as the doctor left, the boys went upstairs to their
bedroom and "old Dutch" helped Sally with the supper dishes. She liked that; "old Dutch"
seemed to take a special interest in her probably because she was the oldest of the girls, and he treated
her as if she
had the understanding he expected from a child her age. Perhaps Gary would
tell her later, it was not quite bedtime yet. No doubt the boys went upstairs to talk. This
was unusual because the boys, being older, always got to stay up until after the girls had gone
to bed. No use hanging around up there, they never let girls into their room or even left their
door open. She would wait until they came back down.
Dad had gone back in to Mother and had shut the door again as
usual. It seemed
to Sally that those living room doors had been closed a lot lately -even the
double doors leading into it from the parlor were not to be used. She could not
tell if it was for quietness or some other reason that the doors were kept
closed. Perhaps it was to keep the steam and heat in and the household noises
out. Mother certainly required more sleep than usual. But, Sally noticed,
whenever she came into the room, Mother seemed to be aware of her presence
even though she did not change her position.
Sally
did not like that room as it was. For one thing, the shades were drawn and the
lamp was kept lit day and night. The room was too dark, the couch had been
moved over by the stove, there was the smell of medicine and camphor and
menthol. Whenever the children came downstairs, they were supposed to remember
to turn right at the landing and enter the kitchen instead of the living room,
which door opened directly in front of the landing. But whenever they peeked in,
Mother's position never changed and they felt sorry that she could not sleep in
a more comfortable position. Sally recalled a remark she overheard, that Mother
had not really slept for two weeks. With this reminder, Sally did her best to
be helpful and cooperative in the household so Mother could get all possible
rest and get well.
One
thing Sally was pleased about was the picture she had made to cheer Mother.
Last Friday, at school, she made a picture of birds on a snowy pine bough. The
lamp on the reading table was close to Mother's head and to shield Mother's
eyes from the direct light of the lamp, someone had placed a piece of cardboard
behind the prongs that held the class chimney. Now Sally'S picture was in the
place of the piece of cardboard and it softened the light in the room. She hoped
Mother noticed how nice it looked with the lamp light coming though the paper and how carefully
she had colored the birds. Mother had once praised Sally for her artistic
efforts and Sally hoped Mother knew it was she who had made the picture.
The
younger girls were ready for bed when Dad and the boys came back to the kitchen. He had gone
upstairs and brought them back down to see Mother. Sally had been unaware
of this, but when she saw them pass her, she realized they had come from
Mother's room. The boys were sniffing -trying to keep from crying, and Dad was
consoling them as he led them to the dining room. Immediately, "old
Dutch" took over for him and Dad hugged Sally and told her he wanted all
the girls to come in and see Mother. She wondered at that and was about to ask
why the boys were feeling so bad. She couldn't understand why Dad was so
affectionate toward them and her if they were crying, because they only cried
from punishment, and she instinctively knew no punishment had been administered
or deserved.
Before she could say anything, her father said, "It's for the
last time. You want to come in and see her." So she and Dad went into the
room and he drew her up close to Mother's side. Mother did not appear to
acknowledge their presence in any visible way, but Sally felt she knew they
were there. Dad whispered to the girls, "Go ahead and kiss your Mother.
Kiss her on the cheek for the last time. She can't talk but she knows you are
here." And with that, he led Sally Ann up close and waited as she kissed her mother on the cheek and
stepped back as each of the girls in tum did the same. Did he really mean
"for the last time?" Did he really say that? He was so solemn and
affectionate and different and tender in his manner, did he really believe
that? How could he say that! Was Mother really dying? Was that why she had not
gotten any better these last days? What awful words -"for the last
time." She wished he had not said them. She was not ready for whatever it
meant. Perhaps that is why the boys were crying. Well, if it was, she was going
to cry too, even if she
was supposed to set a good example for her little sisters. She felt like
crying. She felt bewildered. She felt sorry to see her father act so
differently than his usual assured self. Sally Ann could not recall the order
of events that night. She remembered the children gathered around the dining
room table with its big "hanging lamp" over the center. Everyone had
been allowed to cry. The boys had returned to their room.
