I just received such sad news. Good friends of ours that live in Durham were expecting a little baby girl, Melissa. She was due on September 30th. Sadly, something went wrong, and they lost the baby last night. The even sadder part is that she hasn't been delivered yet and probably won't be until tomorrow. I can't imagine what they are going through right now. To be only five weeks away from holding your baby and then to lose it. They have been trying to have children of their own for over three years (they ended up adopting from South America and, oops!, they were pregnant!), and it looked like things were finally working out in their favor. Then this happens. It is heartbreaking. It makes me cry. It even made Mom tear up, and she has never even met them. I wish there was something I could do to make things better or easier or something.
Please keep them in your prayers.
28 August 2007
19 August 2007
A blog for Memphis who reads my blog but doesn't answer my phone calls ...
:P
School starts tomorrow. Woo Hoo. I teach at 8am. UNS 101, section 1. I will be the very first professor that these little chippies ever have. Think of the damage that I could cause. Absolute power does indeed corrupt absolutely. I think I'll give it a spin.
The Boy moved to Winston this weekend. It was sad. This is the first night I'll sleep alone in over a month. How traumatizing. He starts law school tomorrow, and we both are pretty excited. It should be good. Eventually. Right now, he is going to be poor, poor, poor. But the payoff should be nice in about three years.
On a happier note, I was Top Associate this week at AT! I earned more for the company in my 15.5 hours there than all of the other associates in the store. Go me!
I am currently watching Serpico, and I have decided that I absolutely hate facial hair. Even on a young Pacino who is, in all other respects, hot. Except on Titus Pullo. He's a hot guy from Rome (you know, the HBO series), but he only has 5 o'clock shadow. Pacino has a fucking fox growing out of his face. No me gusta that.
I made bread in my bread maker yesterday and today. Yesterday I made a honey wheat with some banana in it, and today I made a standard french loaf with just a bit of basil in it. I must say that I am pleased with the results. I'm becoming so damn domestic lately. It's kind of nauseating. Hopefully, the phase will pass.
Financial Aid came through, and I am no longer running in the red ... as much. The rent's been paid until December, all of my store cards are paid off, a large chunk of a credit card has been paid as well. I get paid again at the end of the month again, and things should continue their upswing ... god willing. And I figured out that my car is going to paid off in less than a year! Yeah for that!
School starts tomorrow. Woo Hoo. I teach at 8am. UNS 101, section 1. I will be the very first professor that these little chippies ever have. Think of the damage that I could cause. Absolute power does indeed corrupt absolutely. I think I'll give it a spin.
The Boy moved to Winston this weekend. It was sad. This is the first night I'll sleep alone in over a month. How traumatizing. He starts law school tomorrow, and we both are pretty excited. It should be good. Eventually. Right now, he is going to be poor, poor, poor. But the payoff should be nice in about three years.
On a happier note, I was Top Associate this week at AT! I earned more for the company in my 15.5 hours there than all of the other associates in the store. Go me!
I am currently watching Serpico, and I have decided that I absolutely hate facial hair. Even on a young Pacino who is, in all other respects, hot. Except on Titus Pullo. He's a hot guy from Rome (you know, the HBO series), but he only has 5 o'clock shadow. Pacino has a fucking fox growing out of his face. No me gusta that.
I made bread in my bread maker yesterday and today. Yesterday I made a honey wheat with some banana in it, and today I made a standard french loaf with just a bit of basil in it. I must say that I am pleased with the results. I'm becoming so damn domestic lately. It's kind of nauseating. Hopefully, the phase will pass.
Financial Aid came through, and I am no longer running in the red ... as much. The rent's been paid until December, all of my store cards are paid off, a large chunk of a credit card has been paid as well. I get paid again at the end of the month again, and things should continue their upswing ... god willing. And I figured out that my car is going to paid off in less than a year! Yeah for that!
10 August 2007
And the saga continues ...
After some time on my antibiotics, decongestant, and pain pills, it seemed that my ear troubles had all but left. I was still plugged up, but I wasn't in pain.
Until Wednesday.
The pain came back with a vengeance. At this point, I was ready to stab an ice pick into my ear to relieve the pressure. To avoid a brain injury, I decided to visit the otorhinolarynigologist instead (you know, the ear-nose-throat doctor?). Of course, because I have crappy grad student insurance, none of the specialists in town would see me immediately without a referral. I finally found one that would (but they wanted me to pay 100% of the visit at the time of service) and made an appointment for 1pm on Thursday.
The doctor was really nice and very helpful. As it turns out, my left ear had a complete middle ear infection (meaning that everything behind my ear drum was filled with fluid) and my right ear was partially filled with fluid (meaning an ear infection waiting to happen). Of course, because I am such a freak of nature, the weirdest things happen to me. The doctor tells me that it is really rare for adults to get middle ear infections, and he wanted to check my sinuses for a blockage (i.e tumor). This means that he stuck a friggin' camera on a pipe cleaner up my nose and up into the sinus cavity. Thankfully, he numbed me. It still wasn't pleasant.
Luckily, there were no blockages and my adenoids hadn't grown back (who knew that they could?!). Of course, this means that there is no explanation for my defective head. He went on to explain that sometimes people with my history (chronic ear infections as a child, ruptured ear drums...) have "defective Eustachian tubes" and they become easily blocked and infected. (For those interested, the Eustachian tube is the canal that links the sinuses to the ear canal). And then he busts out with the funniest thing ever. "We may need to put tubes back in your ears." I was dumbfounded. Children, like under 5, get tubes in their ears. Not fully grown, almost-thirty adults. I had to stifle a laugh. I am so fucked up. I think my mom was smoking crack when I was conceived. It would explain a lot.
After the tubes discussion, he told me that he wanted to rupture my ear drum to relieve the pressure. I was game; he planned to use anesthetic so I wouldn't feel it. Of course, that was the plan. Turns out that my ear drum is so scarred and torn up (from all of my childhood illnesses) that the numbing agent didn't work. And, when he went to make an incision into my ear drum, the scalpel wasn't strong enough to cut through the scar tissue. I am not joking. The man had to get a bigger knife. Only in my world does his happen. Damn, that shit was painful, too!
Happily, the office decided to bill my insurance (yeah!), and I got a hearing test while I was there. Turns out, I'm not deaf. Unfortunately, the medicine he prescribed was $160.00. Not so much fun.
Here I am, a full day later, ruptured ear drum and all. I survived, but I don't feel 100% better. The pressure is gone, but I still feel like I am shouting all the time. The ringing has stopped, and the crackling has gone away. Hopefully, once my ear drum heals, I will be back to normal. According to the doc, the ear drum should be repaired in only a matter of days.
Keep your fingers crossed. This shit is getting old.
Until Wednesday.
The pain came back with a vengeance. At this point, I was ready to stab an ice pick into my ear to relieve the pressure. To avoid a brain injury, I decided to visit the otorhinolarynigologist instead (you know, the ear-nose-throat doctor?). Of course, because I have crappy grad student insurance, none of the specialists in town would see me immediately without a referral. I finally found one that would (but they wanted me to pay 100% of the visit at the time of service) and made an appointment for 1pm on Thursday.
The doctor was really nice and very helpful. As it turns out, my left ear had a complete middle ear infection (meaning that everything behind my ear drum was filled with fluid) and my right ear was partially filled with fluid (meaning an ear infection waiting to happen). Of course, because I am such a freak of nature, the weirdest things happen to me. The doctor tells me that it is really rare for adults to get middle ear infections, and he wanted to check my sinuses for a blockage (i.e tumor). This means that he stuck a friggin' camera on a pipe cleaner up my nose and up into the sinus cavity. Thankfully, he numbed me. It still wasn't pleasant.
Luckily, there were no blockages and my adenoids hadn't grown back (who knew that they could?!). Of course, this means that there is no explanation for my defective head. He went on to explain that sometimes people with my history (chronic ear infections as a child, ruptured ear drums...) have "defective Eustachian tubes" and they become easily blocked and infected. (For those interested, the Eustachian tube is the canal that links the sinuses to the ear canal). And then he busts out with the funniest thing ever. "We may need to put tubes back in your ears." I was dumbfounded. Children, like under 5, get tubes in their ears. Not fully grown, almost-thirty adults. I had to stifle a laugh. I am so fucked up. I think my mom was smoking crack when I was conceived. It would explain a lot.
After the tubes discussion, he told me that he wanted to rupture my ear drum to relieve the pressure. I was game; he planned to use anesthetic so I wouldn't feel it. Of course, that was the plan. Turns out that my ear drum is so scarred and torn up (from all of my childhood illnesses) that the numbing agent didn't work. And, when he went to make an incision into my ear drum, the scalpel wasn't strong enough to cut through the scar tissue. I am not joking. The man had to get a bigger knife. Only in my world does his happen. Damn, that shit was painful, too!
Happily, the office decided to bill my insurance (yeah!), and I got a hearing test while I was there. Turns out, I'm not deaf. Unfortunately, the medicine he prescribed was $160.00. Not so much fun.
Here I am, a full day later, ruptured ear drum and all. I survived, but I don't feel 100% better. The pressure is gone, but I still feel like I am shouting all the time. The ringing has stopped, and the crackling has gone away. Hopefully, once my ear drum heals, I will be back to normal. According to the doc, the ear drum should be repaired in only a matter of days.
Keep your fingers crossed. This shit is getting old.
03 August 2007
Why don't I ever learn my lesson?
This morning found me at the emergency room. Last night, the pain was so bad in my left ear that I could barely stop crying. I was sure that my eardrum was going to rupture. I called my mom and she told me that when I was little, my eardrums ruptured "all the time." That didn't make me feel much better. Talking to her did, but hearing that did not.
Of course, the campus health clinic (aka the campus HELL clinic) told me that all of my symptoms should be gone by Friday. And, of course, they weren't. They were indeed worse. Upon The Boy's and Mom's prompting, I went to the emergency room this morning. Turns out, I have a double ear infection on top of this upper respiratory thing.
I HATE THE CAMPUS HEALTH CLINIC!!!!!!!!!
Did I learn when they misdiagnosed my eczema for a contact allergy and had me cover it in ointment which only made it worse? TWICE?
Did I learn my lesson (albeit vicariously) when a dear, dear friend was misdiagnosed with the HIV and treated callously? (wink, wink, you know who you are, lovey!)
Did I learn my lesson after hearing countless horror stories about inadequate treatment?
Clearly, I did not. I think this time it may have finally sunk in.
When I complained about my ear hurting, the stupid woman should have put me on antibiotics after she said, "You have a lot of fluid behind your eardrum." Dumb ass, where do you think an ear infection comes from? I'm not even medically trained, and I know that much! After all, I've had more than I can count, along with the irreparable damage to my ears that they have caused.
Anyway, the emergency room provided me with a proper diagnosis, antibiotics, and Percocet. And I am much happier. I will be even happier with the Percocet kicks in.
Oh wait ... it may have just done that ...
Of course, the campus health clinic (aka the campus HELL clinic) told me that all of my symptoms should be gone by Friday. And, of course, they weren't. They were indeed worse. Upon The Boy's and Mom's prompting, I went to the emergency room this morning. Turns out, I have a double ear infection on top of this upper respiratory thing.
I HATE THE CAMPUS HEALTH CLINIC!!!!!!!!!
Did I learn when they misdiagnosed my eczema for a contact allergy and had me cover it in ointment which only made it worse? TWICE?
Did I learn my lesson (albeit vicariously) when a dear, dear friend was misdiagnosed with the HIV and treated callously? (wink, wink, you know who you are, lovey!)
Did I learn my lesson after hearing countless horror stories about inadequate treatment?
Clearly, I did not. I think this time it may have finally sunk in.
When I complained about my ear hurting, the stupid woman should have put me on antibiotics after she said, "You have a lot of fluid behind your eardrum." Dumb ass, where do you think an ear infection comes from? I'm not even medically trained, and I know that much! After all, I've had more than I can count, along with the irreparable damage to my ears that they have caused.
Anyway, the emergency room provided me with a proper diagnosis, antibiotics, and Percocet. And I am much happier. I will be even happier with the Percocet kicks in.
Oh wait ... it may have just done that ...
02 August 2007
Relapse
I want to die.
I am in so much pain right now. I think my ear drum may have ruptured.
I am so fuckin' tired of feeling sick.
I am so fuckin' tired of being tired.
I am so fuckin' tired of not being able to sleep.
I am in so much pain right now. I think my ear drum may have ruptured.
I am so fuckin' tired of feeling sick.
I am so fuckin' tired of being tired.
I am so fuckin' tired of not being able to sleep.
01 August 2007
Mano y Mono
Thankfully, my mono test came back negative. Unfortunately, that means I am contagious with an upper respiratory infection. The doctor doubled my naproxen dosage (which I currently take for my arthritic joints) and gave my Allergra-D. I was hoping it would make me sleepy when she said, "Make sure you don't take this around bedtime. It will keep you up."
Great. Looks like I'll have a few more nights of three hours of sleep. (Yes, I am still awake from the previous 5am blog. Although, I did take a nap from 8:45am to 9:30am!)
She assured me that my plugged-up ears and other symptoms should be gone by Friday. They better be! I plan on going to Durham to drink and smoke cigars with friends. I can't be havin' this illness crap hanging over my head! (My, my how a lack of sleep makes me punchy.)
On the brighter side of this whole infection episode, I have lost three pounds since Sunday. Since I've had no appetite and food makes me want to vomit, I don't eat. The Boy did manage to force-feed me some boiled potatoes and steamed green beans. He's good that way.
In other news ...
My emulation of Brandy and her accountability day failed ... miserably. Oh well. I'm more of a random person anyway. Just ask my friends. Any way, I'll give it a shot.
Academic: I am caught up on my reading schedule. Not ahead, but certainly not behind. This is a hell of a lot better than where I was last week.
Professional: I've missed two days of work with Joey and one day of work at AT this week. Not so good for the bank account, but this should be the end of my sick days.
Personal: The Boy and I hit a few rough spots in the whole cohabitation realm, but things seem to have perked up. I'm happy. He's happy. Bailey's happy. I guess all is well. Aside from my mutant illness, of course. But even that seems to be improving.
That's were things stand as of now. But, as we all know, things could change in a moment's notice.
Peace by with you.
Bitches!
Great. Looks like I'll have a few more nights of three hours of sleep. (Yes, I am still awake from the previous 5am blog. Although, I did take a nap from 8:45am to 9:30am!)
She assured me that my plugged-up ears and other symptoms should be gone by Friday. They better be! I plan on going to Durham to drink and smoke cigars with friends. I can't be havin' this illness crap hanging over my head! (My, my how a lack of sleep makes me punchy.)
On the brighter side of this whole infection episode, I have lost three pounds since Sunday. Since I've had no appetite and food makes me want to vomit, I don't eat. The Boy did manage to force-feed me some boiled potatoes and steamed green beans. He's good that way.
In other news ...
My emulation of Brandy and her accountability day failed ... miserably. Oh well. I'm more of a random person anyway. Just ask my friends. Any way, I'll give it a shot.
Academic: I am caught up on my reading schedule. Not ahead, but certainly not behind. This is a hell of a lot better than where I was last week.
Professional: I've missed two days of work with Joey and one day of work at AT this week. Not so good for the bank account, but this should be the end of my sick days.
Personal: The Boy and I hit a few rough spots in the whole cohabitation realm, but things seem to have perked up. I'm happy. He's happy. Bailey's happy. I guess all is well. Aside from my mutant illness, of course. But even that seems to be improving.
That's were things stand as of now. But, as we all know, things could change in a moment's notice.
Peace by with you.
Bitches!
Hello, 5am ...
... you suck.
It has been a long time since I have seen 5am. Sure, I have woken up at five in the past six months, but I have not seen it from the 4am side in a looooooooong time.
Thank you, random illness, for allowing me the pleasure of being up all night.
It has been a long time since I have seen 5am. Sure, I have woken up at five in the past six months, but I have not seen it from the 4am side in a looooooooong time.
Thank you, random illness, for allowing me the pleasure of being up all night.
Sickologue --- Day 4
I am sick.
I feel miserable.
My throat is so sore that I can barely swallow.
I am completely exhausted, yet I cannot sleep. (Hence the blogging at 2am.)
My head is totally congested.
I have an annoying, weak, child-like cough that won't go away.
My ears of completely plugged.
Every slight noise make my head buzz and ring.
I think I may be dying.
Or maybe I have mono.
Either way, I don't have good enough insurance to go to the doctor. (Thanks, UNCG!)
Even if I had the money, I can't afford to miss work. (Once again, thanks, UNCG!)
I feel miserable.
My throat is so sore that I can barely swallow.
I am completely exhausted, yet I cannot sleep. (Hence the blogging at 2am.)
My head is totally congested.
I have an annoying, weak, child-like cough that won't go away.
My ears of completely plugged.
Every slight noise make my head buzz and ring.
I think I may be dying.
Or maybe I have mono.
Either way, I don't have good enough insurance to go to the doctor. (Thanks, UNCG!)
Even if I had the money, I can't afford to miss work. (Once again, thanks, UNCG!)
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