Don't you just hate it when you have to make big decisions? I'm pretty used to the small, everyday decision. You know, ice cream or yogurt?Havarti or mozzarella? Be a bitch or let the student athletes get away with shit? Just when everything gets to an even keel, life throws a wicked curve ball and I actually have to make a real decision that impacts more than just my mood and checkbook.
So, through the miracle of the Internet, I am going to hash out the decision right here on my blog and I fully expect all of my three readers to weigh in and help me make a decision!
As you all most likely know, the graduate student life is one of poverty and insane student loans. You may also know that I have decided to leave the full-time student and finish this shit up part-time. Of course, this is no big deal since all of my coursework is DONE! I've had my feelers out for potential jobs, and I have a few good leads on things.
On Saturday, AT offered me a full-time assistant manager position. It is a 37-43 hours/week position that pays only 30k a year. But, it has AMAZING benefits (including dental!!). They really want me to take it, and I need to make my decision by tomorrow evening. However, if I take this position, I will no longer be able to work with The Joe in the afternoons and his parents would need to hire a replacement. No big deal, right?
Wrong. The World's Best Employers are amazing to me. Mrs. ADA is even letting The Boy follow her around the prosecutor's office all week this week so he can see how things work and get some experience. They gave me $50 to spend at Friendly Center as my holiday bonus. They absolutely love me, and they tell me this every day. Aside from all that, Mrs. ADA is trying to get me that criminal magistrate position that starts in July (a state job that starts around 35k with full benefits and a seven-day-on, seven-day-off schedule!). Unfortunately, she cannot guarantee that I will get the position because someone with more clout may take it. If they don't, it's mine! If they do, I'm out of luck.
I'm totally okay with leaving my campus assistantship (although I know that some of my students would be disappointed), but I don't know how I feel about abandoning people who have done so much for me in the past two years. No, I lied. I do know how I would feel. I would feel like a traitor, an ungrateful twit, miserable and unethical. I also cannot, in good conscience, take the AT position only to quit in July when the magistrate position is open.
So, now for the questions. Get ready ...
1. Do I take the AT position and abandon The World's Best Employers and their autistic son and their other two children who adore me?
2. Do I wait for July to see if the magistrate position comes through and keep working part-time at my three other jobs?
3. Is a bird in the hand really worth two in the bush?
Let's have it, folks. Bring it on.
3 comments:
tough one, why do i feel i am in college and studying some of those moral issues like "does she steal the medicine even though she is against theivery because her child needs it and she is not able to pay?"
Timing is a big thing in life? What does your heart say first, is the usual.. then, since i don't understand all the words u use, about work, etc... what did you want to do with your degree? What other doors will open after this decision on either path?
I might sit this whole thing down with the woman you like now, ask her to help make it! THe other answer is,,, before sleep, pray... isn't that what you are learning on the side, about being open to God again... ! Merry Christmas, in the best possible way of that expression. Peace.
Definitely listen to your heart.
I like the suggestion about talking to Mrs. ADA about the decision. I know she cannot guarantee you the magistrate job, but she might be able to open other doors for you.
The other thing I have to say is that even with the benefits, full-time retail sucks. It is soul-sucking in a way that even the dum-dums cannot aspire to. Oh...it can be fun when you just work the floor, but having management responsibility in retail is not fun.
None of that is probably very helpful, but you know me...I'll always put my two cents in.
I agree that you should go with your heart, and it sounds to me like you don't really want to leave where you are now... so I'd hesitate to do so, even if the benefits are great.
I heard someone say once that if we didn't have fear, we wouldn't need faith. And while I know that the AT job offers security for now, the relationships you've established with your other employers seem more soulful, as if they impact your life in a more positive way. I'd think twice about giving that up, especially considering the narrowness of the academic world.
Just remember to think about what's best for you in the sense of a life well lived and having no regrets. You get so much joy out of babysitting that I worry you'll feel a void that can't be filled if you give that up...
Hope this helps in some small way...
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