Am I really $30,000 in debt for nothing?

As my bank account quickly dwindles away to nothing, I realized that I desperately need a part-time job to pay those summer bills. I decided to spend today pounding the pavement in search of that amazingly wonderful job that would ease all of my concerns. Thankfully, Memphis tagged along for emotional support.

Six hours later, I returned home just as unemployed as when I left.

Why was I not informed about the unbelievable unemployability that comes with a master's degree and two years into a PhD?

How can it be that I can have 19 years of education, including three degrees (count 'em, people ... THREE!), and not be qualified to nanny, teach (which is ironic because I am a licensed teacher), tutor, sell retail, wait tables, or serve cocktails? How is this fucking possible?

So, I've come up with a new plan. Look for me on West Market between the Harris Teeter and the ABC ...